I'm so conflicted right now, my personal family issues are taking over my mind. I cannot concentrate on school and I am torn between what I am expected to do. I had 3 midterms last week, and I didn't do anywhere near enough studying as I should have and I am worried that my marks are going to reflect that. I've already got one mark back and it was a 50!! I've never got that low of mark, EVER!
But do these mark REALLY matter? I mean does this mark actually dictate how intelligent I am, and does this class test my skills that I will need once I begin my career? No i don't think so.
So why am I so upset about this mark? Because I have been socialized to believe that marks reflect your intelligence and dictate how far you will go. I know I am an intelligent person, and I want to believe that I can achieve all my goals, but school has that possibility of holding me back, and I am terrified because I know I need school to do anything.
UGH yet when I am faced with all these family problems, I am able to see how much more important human suffering is over stupid marks and tests. I honestly wish the only thing I had to worry about was school, and then perhaps I could prove that I am smart. But alas with all the family problems I am unable to focus and I'm hurting all the time.....
I just don't know what I am supposed to do anymore....
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6 comments:
families can be hard to deal with.. and sometimes we feel like we get stormed with problems, several - all at once.
i know how you feel, but don't let it get to you!
and marks, marks only mattered in highschool, when they tortured you to get 90's and once you graduated, you realized that this may start all over again. but remember, in post-secondary, none of these marks ultimately matter. don't worry yourself out, you passsed! and you're a smart girl. : ) just try to take it easy!
xx
awww thx! I really do appreciate all the positive feedback you give me! It has def made a difference!! xo
I don't know you, I got to your blog because it was on a friend's blogroll. And I read this post, and some of your other recent posts. I felt obliged to say a few things.
Marks do matter. A lot. Your university grades will matter for the rest of your life. They will have an impact on your ability to get jobs. They will have an impact on your ability to get further education, should you desire it; now or 20 years from now. They matter forever.
However, the world is understanding. You're going through a tremendously difficult time. Most of your peers aren't. Professors and your university will understand this. But they can only understand if they know. Make an appointment with your health and counselling service today. That way your unique circumstances will be taken into account and you won't be disadvantaged in the future because of the horrible circumstances you are in today.
And making sure your professors and university are aware of your circumstances isn't a way out. It just means that they can make informed decisions, which is what they want to do. But they can only do if you tell them. Also, don't let yourself feel weak for using the resources at your disposal to help you get through this. You're strong already for being able to deal with this as well as you have.
Good luck.
Thx anonymous stranger for your comment. I was going through a dramatic moment when I wrote the last post. I do know what's important to me and I have made steps to help better my situation. Thanx for your suggestion though.
What's totally important?
This, dear.
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ALWAYS.
God bless your indelible soul.
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